ashishorny replied to your post “She dated tons of people and is always very social. I agree. All I’m saying is that I don’t think that translated into sex often? That’s all. I think she has lots of dating experience but I don’t think she slept with many of them. She has high standards (sometimes delusional standards - ie Mark) so those dating fails didn’t translated into sex all that often. I’m not judging at all just trying to understand it”
To say she wasn’t having sex with at least half of those relationships that she described to Ann is ridiculous. All the men she’s dated on the show she wanted sexually pretty early on. Except maybe Dave?
Yes. Also it’s important to point out that while she liked Dave, she never seemed that attracted to him. She dated him because he was nice and she figured she would give it a shot, but even if he hadn’t moved, I don’t think it would have lasted.
Anonymous said: (Different anon) regarding the quantity, she's told Ann about the time that she was in the shower with a guy who broke up with her after they had sex. (That could've been a lie though) because she also mentioned "Rebecca" who she later admitted that Rebecca is a name she gives to fictional, hot girls. That just kinda came to mind. (This spiraled)
Yes. I doubt Leslie would lie about something like that, even to make Ann feel better.
But yeah, I doubt she was in the shower with him to save on resources or whatever.
As for Rebecca, I think it’s the name she gives fictional hot girls because of that real Rebecca who she was dumped for. I was once dumped for a girl named Jessica, so my jealousy amalgams would be named Jessica probably if I had them.
Anonymous said: I'm sorry. Wasn't trying to challenge your opinion in the least. Just wanted you to dispute my idea against your own. Sorry again. Thank you for exploring my "asks"
Hey, Anon. It’s fine. I’m just confused. There’s no need to apologize you were’t being rude or mean or anything. I’m more than willing to discuss anything you want, I just want it to be clear what we’re actually discussing so we’re on the same page. :)
Anonymous said: She dated tons of people and is always very social. I agree. All I'm saying is that I don't think that translated into sex often? That's all. I think she has lots of dating experience but I don't think she slept with many of them. She has high standards (sometimes delusional standards - ie Mark) so those dating fails didn't translated into sex all that often. I'm not judging at all just trying to understand it
If by dating fails you mean those first date fails, then okay. Let’s say she didn’t have sex with them. I’m cool with that.
But she’s had relationships and most relationships include sex. I say most because I don’t want to discount asexual relationships, but Leslie isn’t ace and I doubt her partners were either, so sex was almost definitely a factor.
But really let’s discuss what’s happening here. You asked me about my opinion regarding the quality of Leslie’s sex life pre-Ben. Not quantity, quality. But now you’re twisting things so that it’s about quantity, not quality. And those are not the same thing. The amount of sex someone has, or the amount of partners isn’t equal to the quality of said sex.
I don’t think you’re judging, but I think you’re arguing something different than what I said and it’s a bit baffling to be honest.
Anonymous said: I didn't mean all as in every relationship I just meant the ones that you talk about. I do think leslie knows what she wants and always has but I don't think that has to translate to a sexual nature? She likes sex, likes relationships, but I don't think she ever actively sought it out. Leslie is at her best when she is with the people she knows. She tends to branch out very little socially. Idk I just think she has less of a sexual past than you think which isn't a good or bad thing
I have read this question five times and I still can’t make sense out of it. The ones I talk about? What does that mean? You mean my general overview of Leslie’s sex life as presented in canon? Is that what you’re referring to?
You know most people are at their best when they’re with the people they know, but Leslie’s also an attractive, intelligent and class woman who at the very least has had a lot of crappy first dates and quite a few bad break ups. I am not sure how any of that equates to her at least not trying to ‘branch out’ as you call it. And as for her sexual past, I thought were were arguing the quality, not the amount. Even though, really? Less of a sexual past? Where are you even getting that?
Anonymous said: But what is canon about leslie having all these positive sexual experiences before Ben? You always mention that it's ridiculous that she is viewed as having few experiences but remember that this is the woman that was in "love" with mark for years and years and the one that had all those terrible experiences to tell Ann about. None of them sound too long term. I'm not saying she didn't have sex and relationships before Ben but I definitely think canon tells us that almost all were duds.
When did I say she had nothing but positive experiences before Ben? I think you misunderstood, and that’s probably my fault so I’m sorry.
Being in ‘love’ with someone and having bad break ups or relationships is not the same thing as having bad sex, and I’m not sure what them being short term has to do with anything? There are people who’ve been in long term relationships where the sex has been average and people who just have short term ones where the sex was spectacular and vice versa. The length of a relationship doesn’t necessarily dictate how the sex is.
So maybe a lot of them were duds, but to say they were all duds? And don’t misunderstand, I absolutely believe Ben is certainly the best, by which I mean the one she’s most compatible with, but I don’t buy he’s the only good lover she’s had.
And don’t forget, Leslie knows what she likes. She knows she doesn’t like when it lasts too long, she likes role playing and think about how she acted around Ben when she decided she wanted him and found out he liked her back. It’s probably character growth, but she knew what she wanted and how to flirt with him to make him and get him flustered.
I really hope that explains it, sorry if it doesn’t the heat is making me scatterbrained today.
stars-inthe-sky said: What kickstarted your smutty headcanons, and do you draw those details from personal experience, an active imagination, or somewhere else?
The simple answer is someone asked me to do Ben/Leslie for one of those sex head canons and they just spiraled from there, but really they started in conversations with Ashley when I would rant about some of the common tropes in fandom that I disagree with. (The joke in Kaboom! not withstanding, Leslie’s had a lot of sexual partners, am I really to believe she’s never had good sex until Ben? No.) But there are also some that I do agree with. (Like the collective head canon that Ben is great at oral. I don’t know how or when this was decided but it’s beautiful and true.)
But it’s less about going against those tropes and more about the characters themselves and just watching the eps, getting an idea (s) and them discussing it (them) with her until they are fleshed out. Then they either go into fic or someone asks a head canon question and I’m able to share them with the world.
As for the details, all of the above? I have one simple rule for headcanons, and that is they have to be in character. If my own personal experience matches up with them, great, but I never take my personal experience and try to make it fit, if that makes sense. Really though, the details are drawn from a lot of places, including but not necessarily limited to personal experience (but far less than one might think.) gif sets, my imagination, picking things up from the show and just expanding on them. For instance, it’s canon that Ben has a thing for women in skates, but have you noticed that Leslie wears a lot of fuck me pumps these days? I’m not saying Ben has a shoe kink, no wait, that’s exactly what I’m saying.
So I hope that answers your question. It was harder to answer than I thought it would be. :)